Last night we had polenta for the first time. Creamy, delicious, homemade polenta with Pecorino Romano cheese and lots of butter. Nobody was impressed, even slightly, but me. I thought it was great, but I like grits, and they are basically the same thing. Italians like to add some fancy cheese, which elevates the social standing of polenta above grits considerably.
They didn't even like it sliced and fried this morning. Big time fail.
I also made a coffee cake recipe from The Pioneer Woman's first cookbook. It was really good, but will need a few tweaks next time I make it because the gluten free flour doesn't absorb as much oil, and it was a little too sweet.
It wasn't nearly as good as Honey's reaction when he found out it had... prunes... in it.
There was a look of shock and betrayal, some calm yelling, and faces of disgust. But, that was mostly for show, and he ate the whole piece, with a glass of raw milk. We had a good time laughing until we cried, though.
So dramatic, that Honey.
Finally, I made a Sloppy Joe recipe from a menu mailer I'm trying out. It's from cookingtf.com, and has all-natural, healthy, traditionally-made recipes. That means no processed ingredients of any kind, all the beans and grains (if any) are soaked and/or sprouted, and there are a lot of fermented foods involved. That translates to really healthy food, but still delicious. So far, I like the trial-week menu.
Everyone liked the Joes, thankfully. I couldn't serve a whole meal of disappointment. I'm not sure what that would do to my self-image, and their trust.
Now, here's where the awesomeness comes in. (Well, today, anyway.) Here's the magic.
I have never before served my family Sloppy Joes, that I can remember, so they didn't quite know what to expect. We've actually played Adam Sandler's 'Lunchlady Land' song for the kids, trying to imbue them with some concept of the reality of public school cafeterias. I don't know what they serve now, but in the 80's and 90's, Texas schools served an abundance of Sloppy Joes.
So, Honey has experience with Joes, and when he sat down to the table and saw the 'filling,' it was obvious he didn't connect my dish with the white bun full of ketchup-sauced ground beef of his youth. Our childhood memories didn't include shredded cabbage, carrots, and celery in the mixture, served on a slice of whole wheat bread. There was, however, still ground beef (grass-fed) and a tangy ketchup-based sauce (from scratch.)
It really was good, though, and they didn't mind the veggies at all. Plus, in all the hullabaloo with the prunes and polenta, they didn't even NOTICE that I had added ground liver to their Sloppy Joes. Liver! I could taste it, probably because I knew it was there, but nobody said a word, or even hinted that they tasted liver. They didn't even catch on when we used the leftover raw liver to make a batch of healthy dog treats for Neco. (Like, why would I have a bowl of raw, pureed liver on the counter for no reason?? Whew!)
THAT, my friends, is a major score. It's 'Mom Awesomeness' in its purest form. It makes me feel so powerful that it could actually be dangerous.
The things I can accomplish! The healthy foods I can hide! Oh, these children WILL be healthy. They will EAT what I want them to, with or without consent. Herbs! Ferments! Cultured dairy! Muhahahahaha...
Oh, sorry... I got carried away.
The point is, it is completely possible to make healthy (REALLY healthy) foods your kids will eat. Just hide the good stuff and don't tell them. And, when it works, don't let your awesomeness power trip give it away.
The hardest part is keeping your mouth shut, because it's just so exciting when you succeed. I learned that lesson with the chocolate chip cookie bars made from garbanzo beans. I was so ecstatic that everyone liked them, I had to tell Honey my dirty secret, and now the whole family knows. Now I have to find another seemingly unhealthy dessert to take their place. (What I really need to figure out is how to make Oreos without wheat or sugar, and with something really healthy in them. Let me know if you have any ideas.)
So, go practice some 'covert cooking,' my friends. Let me know if you hit a jackpot. When you HAVE to tell someone... tell me. I'll keep your secret. Oh, yes. I will.
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