Helloooooo blog! I usually have some sort of apology for not being here for so long, but this morning, I'm not making one. Life has been just that: life. It's busy and unpredictable, liable to take a new turn at any moment. That can be difficult, or it can be fun, depending on what you make of it. Of course, sometimes it's also both.
Lately, it's been fun. We haven't been working on our normal routine as much as usual, but we've been working on other, equally important things. We've studied marine animals, aerodynamics, and water safety at Sea World, and we've observed and experimented with lasers, reflection, and strategy playing laser tag. We had an awesome 'field trip' to a physical rehabilitation unit when we visited my uncle after a foot surgery, and got to see people with various injuries and conditions undergoing physical therapy, which opened up all kinds of doors to learning. We practiced and observed serving others, made new friends, enjoyed old friends, and studied God's Word at camp, which is a blessing that cannot compare with math and spelling. (And, if you know me, you KNOW how important I think math and spelling are!)
We are now learning about entrepreneurship as we prepare to have a booth in a local marketplace next month, and have had to register an assumed name, file for a sales and use tax permit, and submit a vendor application. We'll also be ordering and making all the products for sale, which will be a lot of work. This week, we are learning about service and cooperation as we join others to paint our church building.
So, life, with all its twists and turns, has become one learning opportunity after another, even though we had PLANNED to be at home plowing through our math books. There will be time for math, as well, but I'd hate to miss out on all these experiences!
Which brings me to the reason I'm here this morning, when I should be running errands before today's painting party. Something was on my heart and mind this morning that I wanted to share: something with which I struggle daily, and I know others who are close to me struggle with, as well.
Just like choosing how we will receive the daily twists and turns of life, making them into either obstacles and disappointments, or blessings and opportunities, we must make the same decisions with who we are, and who we want to be.
If you knew my mother, you know me. It's a plain and simple fact. At the core, I AM my mother. She passed away in 2004, but her legacy lives on through me (and my sister), in some ways that are very visible (literally, like the nose on my face), and in some ways that are harder to see, but equally prominent.
If I had to pick one word to describe my mom, it would be 'strong.' She was a person of slight frame, with skinny legs and arms, like me, but her body was still strong enough to do anything she put her mind to. Her character and her motivation were strong. Her will and determination were strong. Her love was strong. These all sound like great qualities to have, and they are, but they can easily be just as much faults as strengths. Sometimes, they are both.
The same strong will that helps you survive as a single mother can be a huge flaw as a wife. Determination can quickly turn into stubbornness and inability to cooperate with others. It's always a choice, and since I have most of those same qualities, whether passed on genetically, from years of observation, or by cultivation, it's a daily struggle.
My character needs to be strong, but not so strong that I dominate every situation I'm in. I want to be strong in kindness, generosity, truth, and grace, after the example of my Lord. I don't want to be like a 'strong cheese,' whose odor and overwhelming flavor leave a lasting impression.
I have to choose each day whether to be motivated by my own interests and goals (of which I have many), or to focus on those of my husband, kids, church, and community. I choose whether to be motivated by God's instructions and promises, or to pursue my own desires, leaving the rest to fall by the wayside.
My will needs to be firm, to stand up for what is right, and not buckle under pressure. I have to be able to 'hold my own' without being unmovable when I'm wrong. I think will is the hardest to temper, because we have to find that place in the middle where we aren't doormats, but aren't trying to rule everyone else. Especially for a husband/wife or parent, putting your own will aside for others is essential to the success of a family. THAT, friends, is not easy. THAT is very, very hard when you have a 'limburger' personality. I struggle with it every single day. Some days I'm successful, and some days, I'm bossy and dominant. Those are two qualities that aren't appreciated by God, or my husband. I'm thankful the Lord blessed me with a loving, patient husband who understands my struggle, and doesn't let me run over him.
My determination needs to be such that I have faith in my abilities, and know that I can accomplish things I have never attempted, and learn things I know nothing about. If I spend my life waiting for someone else to do the things that need to be done, it's going to be a long and disappointing road. Philippians 4:13 affirms that I can do all things through Christ, which strengthens me, and I have to believe that and be willing to live it. I need to pray for the Lord's guidance in everything I do, even if it seems petty and unimportant. If I need the dryer fixed, I get on youtube to find out what I need, and how to do it, and I DO it. Yes, I have a husband who can do it, and he would, but if he's busy, there is no reason I can't learn. He may not always be here to rescue me. Plus, one gains an intense satisfaction when one's husband comes home and you tell him YOU fixed the dryer. The surprise and look of doubt on his face, followed by his turning it on and affirming your awesomeness keeps you happy for several days.
My love for Christ, above all else, will be the deciding factor in every choice I make. When I am motivated by that, determined to please Him, and have a passion to do HIS will, my love for everyone else will be apparent. It makes loving my husband, my kids, my brothers and sisters in Christ, and even my enemies so much easier. If you want to love strong, start by loving Him. His love for us is stronger than we can fathom, and He never gives up on us, even when we fail in everything we do.
The choices I make every day will be MY legacy. I am thankful for the strong personality my mother passed on, and I pray that I use it for the benefit of those with whom I come into contact. Like I said, it's a daily struggle, but with perseverance, I hope to leave my kids with the same strengths and the ability to use them wisely. Without that ability, they are no longer strengths, but weaknesses that will bring us down, and destroy the goals we have for ourselves and our families.
So, that's what was on my mind. Now I'm thinking about breakfast, and I'm suddenly craving some good, strong, stinky cheese...
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